Thank you…

Thank you to all the new readers and people who made comments.  Your participation is wanted and needed.  It provides the encouragement  I need to continue to make this journey.  I am not a writer but someone who writes.  So forgive me if the grammar or content is not up to what you may find in published writings.  It just proves I am writing from my heart and coming from my heart. It’s not easy to be transparent.

At times at night I wrestle with putting my feelings out there for the world to see.  In the end, I know that it is great therapy and begins healing.  So again, thank you so much for taking your time to read my blog.  I really do appreciate you.



A little birdie told me…

You may be wondering based on the title, and if I will be writing depressing tragedies that happened in my life as a child? Well, that is not the “full” intention of this blog.  This blog is actually about being victorious in spite of things that hurt. It’s about how hurtful things can make or break you.  It’s about how obstacles and mountains get in our way, but with faith in God, courage and perseverance you can overcome those obstacles and climb those mountains.

Usually when you say, “it hurts when I do this”, the response is normally, “don’t do that”. This blog is about how I stopped doing that… *smiles*.  It is also about how that pain can serve as a reminder of how I managed to see another day after a day or two of wishing that God would take me away.  It is about admitting that they were days when I wondered why he leaves me here to face the darkness.  It is about how refreshing the light can be when you focus on Jesus, and yet finding the courage to walk towards His light no matter how far it is. It is the greatest personal victory one can ever feel.

This blog is about wanting to be rescued and finding out that rescuing yourself builds the muscles of the mind, heart and spirit.  These are the muscles that only you and God can see and understand.  It reminds me of the story of the little boy who found the bird eggs of a mother bird who lay dead under the tree.  The little boy decided that he would care for those eggs and see to it that baby birds would see life.  With his father’s help he built an incubator and watched daily as the eggs began to hatch.  One day the boy noticed that one egg was not making any progress.  As the days progressed the other eggs showed signs of cracking but not the one egg.  Soon the little boy became worried that the bird was not strong enough to hatch his egg so the little boy decided to make a small crack in the egg to help the baby bird out.  By the next day the other eggs were slowly opening, but the one egg still remained the same.  So the little boy decided to add more cracks in the egg to even the progress of the other eggs. The baby bird inside the egg showed signs of life and began to show attempts of cracking his egg, but he could not make even a portion of the progress of the other baby birds. So the little boy continued to help the baby bird open his shell.

Eventually the eggs all hatched and the baby birds all showed signs of life, hunger and eagerness to fly away.  But the one little bird just laid in the nest barely moving.  Soon it was time to put the birds back in the tree so they would eventually fly away.  The little boy worried that the one bird would not be strong enough to fly away, but it was time to let go.  Every day he checked on the birds and one by one they were each gone from the nest.  At last the boy came to the nest one day to find the baby bird dead and alone in the nest. What happened?  Baby birds need their shell to develop the muscles necessary to fly away. God made the shell to develop them strong enough to carry them through the life he planned for them.

The moral of the story is that the first sign of our problems are the shell that holds us back.  We must deal with problems in the beginning.  Solving them from the start builds our muscles of character and teaches us how to solve bigger problems along our journey.  Bigger problems meaning problems never end, and we will always have them.  Big problems are a matter of prospective.  If you never solve a problem and you are either avoiding them, or you are having someone else solve them, which eventually every problem you face will seem big and unbearable.  As we live daily we can expect more problems.  One thing I know for sure is that when I didn’t want to face my problems I wanted to die.  Like the little baby bird, I actually was dying.  Ask yourself this: “what are some of things that I avoid that can actually kill me”?

Courage to face our problems builds character muscles.

When you recite the scripture, “I can do all things through Christ  who gives me strength” (Ph 4:13) and believe that you can face them and conquer them, then you will have the victory”.

So in conclusion, this is the story of the little girl that could.  A little girl who faced some horrible things in life that were meant to destroy her and kill her,  but she met a man named Jesus and learned to listen to His voice and face her problems.  And with a heart for justice and a love for what is right, she eventually walked through the fires.  And since that first fire, she has been walking through bigger fires every since with little fear, and great courage reciting every step of the way God’s word.  If God be for me…, I can do all things…, The Lord is my rock and my fortress…, No weapon formed against me..

I can hear you saying it with me…

eggs hatching

Some say I should write a book…

There are times I am sitting with a friend and we begin to talk about family life and why we are dealing with so much drama. We begin to share stories about what our lives were like growing up. When I start to tell my stories people’s eyes grow wide with disbelief. It would always end with “wow, you should write a book”. I should write a book, huh? I always ask. If I write a book people’s lives would change. A big slap in the face would be delivered to some, but most of all it would hurt to have it remain a permanent, written record of my pain. However, just saying out loud what I have endured somehow brings healing with each word. So, here is my attempt to get it out to those who can relate and begin the healing with me. I just want you all to know that “it hurts when I do this…”, so please be patient and forgiving as I explain the pain.